Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Courtship v. Dating

This was my answer to a thread on the Rebelution forum. Enjoy, and give me your feedback please!

• What is dating?
Dating is formally announcing that you and a member of the opposite sex are interested in one another in a romantic way and it may or may not end in marriage. It has several other connotative definitions, but that's the essential part.

• What is courtship?
Courtship is also formally announcing that you have romantic interests for one another, but with the expectation of marriage. It has to be handled very carefully.

• How do you go about them?
Dating is pretty much the guy asking the girl if he can consider her his girlfriend, and then he takes her places where he normally pays (which may not be true anymore, but that's the original intent) and they get to know one another better. Often this can be in a group setting.

Courting involves a more official process in which the couple approached both sets of parents together, explaining their intent to court one another and see if it will end in marriage. It is much more formal, involving official dates of asking, etc.

Has anybody seen these types of relationships close up?
Yes. My cousin and her husband courted for about a year before their marriage. It was a very formal kind of courtship, in which my new cousin C asked my uncle and aunt for their permission to court my cousin with the intent of marrying her at the end, and they had a celebration dinner of her courtship.
Personally, I think that was a little over the top, but that's what's involved in courtship.

My friends L and A (I haven't asked them if it's OK to put them online, so I'll just put initials.) are in a Christian dating relationship.Their relationship also involves their parents in that both parents are aware and accept the relationship, but there wasn't much else involved. The thing I like about L and A's relationship is that if they break apart, both could go to the other's wedding and be OK with it. I think that's one of the major problems with 'serious' relationships, you tie yourself in emotionally.
Have you seen them conducted in a Godly way or in an ungodly way?
I have seen ungodly dating relationships that ended in heartbreak and hate.
I have seen ungodly Courtships that ended in divorce, because they got married then realized it hadn't worked.
I have also seen wonderful, powerful married couples come out of both relationships.

And I just want to say that I see problems in both kinds of relationships and think that we as Rebelutionaries, should not try to figure out which we should adhere to, but rather create a new kind of relationship that takes the good from both. Dateship maybe? I strongly dislike the idea that courtship is the only 'Christian' way, and think it is very possible to date Christian, and possible to Court un-Christian. But Dateship would be a relationship style soley for us, only for Christians, where we are focused on partnering with the other person, 'iron sharpening iron" (proverbs 27:17), to return to our first love (Rev 2:4)

Who's with me?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

HA! The media center!

I recently discovered the tresure of the schoool's media center, and am curenttly taking advantage of it durring lunch periods. So let me catch you up on my life~

This past Saturday we had a debate in Blatimore, and my team did not do well. I came home frustrated and upset. after eatting real food (because they hadn't provided lunch at the debate, only chips) and sleeping for a hour, I woke with a much better outlook on life, but still a little duboius about whether I could continue to push myself into doing debate. My partner is also having these thoughts. so if you were wondering how debate ended up going for me, I did very poorly, ranking 4th speaker for the first time. (which means I was the worst speaker in my debate that round) But i don't want to be sympathized with, because I knew I wasn't really prepared for this. Anyways, my coach and partner and I have to have a serious disscusion about debate and see if I'm going to continue.

If you follow my blog you know that I recently watched Fireproof, the seherwood film that was Fandango's top seller when it came out. I continue to be impressed by the effort this church puts into thier films and really enjoyed it. obviously there's no way for them to make a Hollywood style film, but it was impressive all the same. If you havent' seen it you should see if it's still out or rent it when it's out on DVD.

Spirit Week:
this week is spirit week at school, and it's lots of fun to see the ways people dress, but yesterday was slightly disturbing. it was wacky tacky day and several of the girls in school were wearing ther bikini tops over shirts and bikini bottoms over layers of pants. I understand that the sentiment of wacky tacky is to wear as much as you can that clashes, but really what was the point of that??? And I'm happy to say that some of the sophmore boys in my Spanish class agreed with me, asking what the girls were trying to prove by basically wearingg thier underwear on the outsides. just a thought, I don't really think there was a big modesty issue or anything, but it looks stupid, even for wacky tacky day. If it is going to mean wearing that suff like that or it's going to mean boys are going to cross-dress I'm going to vote against it next year.

"The isolation of the Americas had remained aimportant in physical and cultural terms, but that isolation came to an end in 1492 with disaterous results" ~ World Civilizations
(A line from my WH text that i found interesting, haveing never heard Columbus's discovery portrayed as disasterous.)

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Compliments of Steven

A friend of mine posted this as a Facebook note. I really appreciated his thoughts, and thought I'd share them with you. I promise that I will try to post my thoughts on Fireproof (among other things) later this week, probably Thursday. And now, may I present steven's note:

"This morning something interesting happened to me. I was running late for school and I passed this one guy on the side walk. I had seen him before (usually when I'm late) and it was the same as always, He says "Good Morning" and "Have a good day", and I do the same out of politeness. But this morning there was something different. I had been having a really bad morning, and those of you who have been around me this past weekend know that I've been under a lot of stress. But after a simple "good morning" I was feeling relieved. All it took was a simple, genuine, no-strings-attached, non-forced, friendly "good morning"That got me thinking, is that really all it takes? All he did was say "good morning" and "have a good day" and it brightened up my day. How much more joy would there be in the world today if strangers just did this one simple thing for each other? It's not much, just one little greeting. And yet just think of the impact it could have on someone. It isn't really that much, it takes almost no effort. If all of this is true then why do we go to so much trouble to avoid eye contact when we see someone else walking in our direction. What has happened when being unfriendly is the norm? Now I thought that was it, my little "epiphany" (if you can even call it that) was over. But there was still more. I was late for school, something that would normally stress me out a little (this meant another morning detention), but it didn't. Now for those of you who don't go to school in Howard County there is something you need to understand. The Howard County school system has been trying to promote civility among students, so every Monday the principal gives a civility "rule" for the week.Well I was in line at the attendance window near the front office where they do the morning announcements. I looked in and saw that out principle was reading the civility rule out of a book! How ironic is it that the administration that is supposed to be promoting this knows so little about it that they have to read it out of a book.This sort of thing shouldn't even have to be necessary. People should know how to act by high school and nobody ever even listens to the announcements. Being friendly isn't something that should have to be taught and forced on someone. If you make someone be friendly an courteous it completely misses the point. As much as we make excuses about how what a difference can I, just one person, make. I can tell you that it really can make a difference in someone's life, at the very least someone's day. I really don't know how to end this, but I do have one thing left to say. I think the Black Eyed Peas song "Where is the Love?" sums up my point entirely, and if you haven't heard it yet you really should:"