Sunday, November 30, 2008

sensory images

IF you're looking for a really meaty, personality diving, spiritual post...

Don't read this one.

If I were suddenly struck blind, certain things would still hold sensory power for me. I have a tendancy to feel a texture, smell a scent, taste a food, hear a sound, and relate it to something else. here are some of my if I was blind thoughts.

1) the taste of sweet potatoes. My Aunt Kimberly makes amazing sweet potatoes with marshmallows and cinnamon and a smooth, sweet consistency. When I eat sweet potatoes I can picture my Aunt placing her dish on the Thanksgiving table.

2) The taste of Mac and cheese makes me think of my Uncle Mike, because he makes the richest, tastiest Mac and cheese EVER! I always compare mac and cheese to his. Uncle Mike pretends like he's Emrile on TV and pours all his ingredients in to little bowls before he starts, leaving all kinds of dishes that he has to wash later.

3) The smell of herbal essence shampoo always makes me think of my friend Ginkgo. Have you ever noticed how people have thier own distinct scents? Normally it comes from thier shampoo, but even two people who use the same shampoo will have different smells. For example, the pastor's wife at my church smells like a rich perfume. Ginkgo always smells flowerly (from Herbal Essence) like Ginny Weasley.

4) The feel of baby footy PJ's makes me feel safe and loved. Terry cloth is my favorite ever. If you want to buy me a Christmas present, buy me a terry cloth robe. The reason that feel, from the footy PJ's, makes me feel safe, is when I feel it means that my little sister has climbed into my bed next to me in the middle of the night for safety.

5) the sound of my dad reading makes me remember my childhood. The schooling curriculum we used required alot of reading aloud, and Dad read to us from a story collection we called the Red Book.

6) The smell of toy train smoke from our Christmas trains and pine makes me happy. It's associated with christmas and grandparents and cousins.

7) The feel of Sweaters make me think of my grandma, who always used to wear sweater vests because she was cold, and of my friend tyler, who likes argile sweaters.

8) The smell of coffee and the smell of cilantro (Spelling?) don't make me think of anything paticular, but I love them both.

9) The sound of a flute makes me think of my friend Liza and her Mom. Mrs. B plays the most beautiful flute and I love her music!!

10) The feel and smell of leather makes me think of my Uncle Mike and my Uncle Kieth. Both of them wear cold leather jackets and had leather sofas at one point in my life. The smooth suave feeling reminds me of them.

There are more, But I won't list them all. What are some of yours?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Are you...?

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?"
I have no idea who this line from a song is by. my inclination is to say Switchfoot, but I can't promise. But it links into my post. Before we get there though, we have to do some explaining. First of all, last weekend I went on the DHT retreat organized by a friend of mine. (I haven't asked him If I can use his name, so we're calling him J.) J is amazing, first of all, putting that whole weekend together. I remember first meeting him when he and my sis were debate partners. Second, DHT is something that I need to constantly be reminding myself of, or I will not do it. Third, another friend of mine who was also on the retreat wrote a great blog post/facebook note about it, so I felt forced into writing down these thoughts. (Thanks Ryan ;-))

So now, finally, back to the song lyric. I do not like that line. Not because it's a bad song, but because it's neo-centric, aka self centered. It's all about you, you achieving your goals, you getting to the highest possible place.
I don't think that's how the world was intended to be.
Let's put it in the words of Alex and Brett. They say "we become the men(women) we strive to be". Later they ask, "Are you, Son/Daughter of God, all that he has planned out for you to be?" If I was a song lyricist, I would have written, "This is your life, It's not in your hands, are you who HE wants you to be?". That is a prize truly worth striving for.

And I haven't been striving for it.

Rather, I've been walking contentedly along in my high schooler life, waiting. But waiting for what? Now is my opportunity.
Dave said at the beginning of this Navs year that we should try "to make the most of every opportunity". If you follow my blog, you'll know I hads a passion moment a few weeks ago. so now my passion moment is moving on from a MY passion moment to a GOD passion moment. That was the first study I did with Navs, making my plan for my life meet God's plan for my life. And I want it to. So I'm going to try.

What if__________?(First one from Katie. Looking for others! You fill it in based on my post.)
1) you asked yourself...
Are you WHO He wants you to be?
Are you WHAT He wants you to be?
Are you WHERE He wants you to be?
Are you doing what He wants you to do?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Passionate again

"Give me one pure and holy passion.
Give me one magnificent obssesion
GIve me one glorious ambition for my life,
To know and follow hard after you.

To know and follow hard after you,
To walk out in your spirit and your truth.
This world is empty pale and poor, compared to knowing you my lord.
So lead me on, and I will run after you,
Lead me on, and I will run after you."

That's the answer to my passion question. With that in mind, I'm going to start a new blog feature. It's called What if? and will only work with help. Based on comments, other blogs, converstations with others, i'm going to start including what if questions.

What IF? (inspired by Dave)
What if Jesus was trulyt greater than everything else in your life?

"Always remember to forget the things that make you sad and don't forget to remember the things that make you happy." Mugolo Nathan, compassion child

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Everything and anything...but mostly shame

Recently i have been fairly ashamed of myself. Of my lacking. Several things lead to this, so i'll just go through and list them.

~ First, I've recently been exploring comics, mostly due to the author Scott McCloud and his book Making Comics. So I went on to his site, and read about the 24 hour comics (which I hope to attempts sometime soon). This year i'm also signed up for NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. But as i read the websites and encouragements, I feel fake. There are so many people out there who are so passionate about things, and, althought I'm interested and perked up by the thought, no sincere passion consumes me.

~ Second, the elections caused an uproar at school. Not because the outcome was unexpected, but because all my teachers felt the ned to discuss it in our classes due to historical signifignace. And while I admit that I am lucky enough to grow up in a historically significant time, I just don't care/ haven't been following the news. And when we had a disscussion about it in my Spanish class, I was shamed by my lack of knowledge as compared to my peers.

~ Third, in relation to myself. There are three parts to this one. First, for a while now I have been having a disscussion on the Rebelution forum about Courtship v. dating (see below post). And while I know personally what I think is ok and what is not, my views are unexplainable and in someways contradictory. I still do not beleive that courtship is 'the way', but i've been forced to think about it more than ever. Second, I was recently reading Facebook notes of a passionate friend of mine. This is one guy that God is clearly working in, let me tell you. And yet, he is fighting self-identity issues, and as I read his notes, I was ashamed of myself for not knowing him better and not being as passionate as he was. The Third thing comes from a disscussion I had yesterday with one of my many younger sisters. In someways, my sister is further along in her faith then i am. She is incredibly passionate about serving Christ and she's fighting all kinds of reformed questions and I was amazed and proud of her, but also shamed by my general lack of commitment.

~ Finally, at Navs tuesday, Fitzy (using her new nickname) was talking about holiness, and how when you invite God into your life,he's so holy that any unholyness has to die. and I was ashamed that i hadn't let my unholiness die.

I think this will be a recurring topic. As I look at colleges I find that there are more and more things that I have not thought about in my future. Like the top of my blog says, I'm looking for a passion in life...and I can't seem to find it. Ironically, this is on the Rebelutionaries blog as well. I didn't know it till after I'd already started this post, but i encourage you to read thier post.