Wednesday, February 28, 2018

A Poem about faking it

Thanks for your overwhelmingly supportive response yesterday to my post. Perhaps I should give the people I work with the same chance to be supportive. This poem highlights how I struggle with how to tell the news to people at work. The expected dialog goes "Hi How are you? Fine, How are you?", which explains the poem title.

I'm Fine.
"Hey, Emily, how's it going/how are you?"

People pass me in the hall and ask
like it's nothing
expecting nothing
wanting nothing
on their way to the next meeting.

Should I tell them?
say my head is aching
my heart is breaking
my hope is shaken
for the last week
all has seemed bleak
Dad can't draw a full breath of air
but do they really care?

Should I say I need Jesus?
use this moment to shine,
draw a religious line,
say, here's where I stand
My God's got a plan
and I may not understand
but he is there,
he is strong,
he's been holding us all along?

And while all this is rushing through my head, they're smiling. they're waiting.
The social pressure to not be vulnerable presses on me like a weight and so I say...

"It's good."
"I'm fine."
"How are you."

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