Life Pro-Tips from a non-pro

I have been kicking around the idea for this post in my head for a while, finally sitting down to write it. If you don’t know, I recently graduated from the bachelors/masters accelerated program at UMBC (in December) and started a job at APL 9in January) and got engaged (in March) to get married (this July).

One of my co-workers recently joked (about me passing a five month work anniversary) about it being “five months of the next forty years” since that’s roughly the expected time to work (until about age 65 - he thinks I'm older than I really am). I've been engaged for two months (two months of the rest of my life, you could say). Hence the title of this post “Life pro-tips from a non-pro”, since I am most definitely a non-pro, at both work and this whole engaged thing. However, I feel like I've learned a lot as things have been changing around me, and so I wanted to capture that on paper somehow – so blog post!

As my mom frequently points out, only people who know me will enjoy this post – I’m not a particularly gripping writer, by any means, but I am the kind of person who likes to process externally, so pardon me while I publicly process.

Work Tips:

1.       Join groups and communities

As a student, I took a single class in Hadoop based distributed computing. I don’t think I’m an expert on Hadoop at all, but when I started my job, I joined  the “Big Data Users” community. I was able to use those connections for one of my projects. I’m also a part of the machine learning community, a topic I enjoyed in college but didn't ultimately focus on. I’m getting the chance now to focus on it more. Networking in college seems like this thing that are constantly talking about – I didn't really see it in action until now, but it’s proven to be one of the more valuable skills I learned. I'm also in some fun clubs - APL Dancers and APL Board Gamers! Yay Community!

2.       Never turn down invitations to lunch

For super-extroverts, this seems obvious. While I am technically an extrovert, saying yes to going to lunch with people always intimidates me – what if I’m boring? What if they don’t really want me and are just being polite? (Mostly, this is because I’m insecure). But generally, I say no. But saying no might mean not getting invited again, and it’s way better to know and be slightly, uncomfortably social with your co-workers, than to not know them at all. One of my favorite co-workers is this guy named Chris - he has an awesome beard, and a great way of persistently bugging me about lunch (twice as an intern, and several times as a full time hire).

3.       Tell a good story

One of my favorite co-workers/boss figures (I have multiple “bosses”) says that work is all about telling a good story. He’s definitely, totally, 100% right. Every project I've worked on has been about telling a good story, about describing how you've exceeded the expectations set for you. Telling a story about why your work is good is really, really important. Of course, it’s easier to tell a good story if you are already doing good work J

4.       Presentations

Presentations were the bane of my existence as a student, but I’m really good at them now, because I’ve practiced and I continue to practice. Being able to make good, concise PowerPoint slides, or to write clear, objective short papers, is essential for work. I have volunteered for a number of presentations at work (some have gone well, some have sucked), but every time has helped me improve. Also, the presentations in school, where everyone has to present and you only have a five minute slot – not realistic. Be prepared for it to be just you, for 30 min-1 hour, and for random questions to interrupt your train of thought.

Wedding Tips:

1.       There’s no way everyone is gonna be happy

I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy all the time and will bend over backwards/over commit myself/make myself miserable trying to make everyone happy. Wedding pro-tip: there are way too many people involved for them to all be happy all the time.  I’m not saying you should just throw all caution to the wind and ignore everyone, just recognize that you have to be OK with saying no to some things some of the time. Of course, the flip side is to say no to everyone all the time – you have to be in relationships with these people for the rest of your life after marriage (parents, future in-laws, and future husband) so if you say no all of the time, that’ll be tough too.

2.       You can’t force someone to be the kind of bride/bridesmaid that you would be

I’m learning this in my role as a bride to be and as a bridesmaid in a good friend’s wedding – everyone does things differently, and if I wanted everyone to be the same type-A, plan everything to the minute details, complete things way in advance person that I am – well, I’m living in a dream world if I want that. Just got to go with the flow, ya know? That's not to say that as a bridesmaid, I should ignore the bride I've agreed to "serve" - I should just do what serves HER, instead of me. I know, it seems obvious but ya know, things are obvious and cliche because they're true.

3. Being engaged (and I assume being married) doesn't have to mean always doing the same thing

This applies to regular dating as well. One thing my fiance and I are constantly doing is the "what do you wanna do, I don't know, whatever you want to do" dance. Eventually we figured out we can hang out and be together without actually being in each others faces all the time (he's playing Supreme Commander while I blog). Happy We figured this one out before the wedding, folks - I definitely plan to bring books on my honeymoon to read while Ryan does other things! Because while we do want to be together and spend time together, time alone is absolutely invaluable.

Other things I've been bopping around:

1. Friendship is hard

Post-college relationships (besides the fiance) is one of the hardest things ever. Finding time to maintain relationships with people when you don't see them everyday like you used to takes a lot of work, especially when eight hours of my day are consumed by working. Scheduling time is something that isn't natural when you used to spontaneously meet in the dining hall but has to happen if you are actually going to see each other.

2. Church is hard

Being recognized as an adult at church is hard for me, and it doesn't help that my church's 20-something nights is on Friday (when I'm usually exhausted from work). Of course, going to a new church would also be hard (see point about friendship being hard). I know community and relationships are important so I stick with it but that doesn't make it easy.

The end.
Thanks for listening me to process externally. To see some of my other friends process about their more interesting (Nancy) or more artistic (LA) lives, check out their blogs at: https://nancysexperientiallearning.wordpress.com and http://www.labirdiephotography.com/

A month of slow-cooking

So, one of my new year's resolutions was to cook something "hard" each month. This month I made a quiche for Ryan (one of his top ten favorite foods) but I've also been using my Christmas Crock-Pot quite a bit. Usually, I prep the food before I leave his house for the night, and Ryan just has to plug it in before he leaves for work in the morning. Then, when we both get back to his house, it smells great and is hot for us to eat!

Here are the things that I've done so far, and some of the things I've learned about slow-cooking:

1. Sesame Chicken. This one was good, except that slow cooking relies on a long, simmering process. If you don't have enough sauce to simmer, then the bottom layer of chicken will burn and stick. The top layer was really good though. Also, I learned not to add broccoli to a crock pot all day - it got WAY soft. But the sesame sauce was really good, and I'd definitely make this again, just save the veggies for after I get home, and put more water in the bottom of the pan to keep it from burning.

2. Chicken Tortilla Soup. This one was absolutely amazing. No complaints. I plan to make it for the chili cook-off at work (even though it's not really chili). It's a Six Sister's recipe and can be found here: http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2013/11/slow-cooker-creamy-chicken-fajita-soup.html

3. Applesauce glazed Pork Tenderloin. This one is when I learned that just because a recipe in a magazine says slow-cook, it does not always mean crock-pot! So one night Ryan and I waited 2 hours and ate dinner really late, but it was delicious and I would definitely eat it again. I think it can be done in the crockpot, but it would have involved figuring out how to alter the recipe so that the glaze would be more simmer-y to prevent the meat from burning (see above).

4. Pea Soup. Ryan's second favorite meal (after the chicken tortilla). It's literally peas, onions, and broth, but it makes the house smell amazing and is really cheap and filling. I'd call it a hit.

5. Carrot Soup. After the successful pea soup, we thought a carrot recipe couldn't be that bad. We were wrong. It was primarily ginger-based, which Ryan didn't like, and since he doesn't have a blender, I used a food processor. They are not the same - food processor leads to a weird grainy texture where blender (I assume) should have been creamy and smooth.

6. Imtation Crab Chowder. This one turned into more of a gumbo, since I left the cream out of the soup and kicked up the cajun flavor with Tony Chachere's seasoning. Very hot, which made it a hit for Ryan. The recipe called for real crab but the imitation stuff held up better in the slow cooker.

7. Homemade Spaghetti Sauce. I've made this one for a while now. The slow cooker let me leave out the water and just stew the tomatoes until they were mushy. I don't use tomato paste, just fresh tomatoes, so the texture sometimes comes out too thin, but with the slow cooker, it was a lot better.

Stay tuned to see how I try to get fancy on Valentine's day, my next month of "hard' cooking.

New Years Resolutions 2015

First, a recap from last year

My 2014 resolutions:

- read and watch A Game of Thrones

I read A Game of Thrones and watched the first episodes of the show. I have the rest of the Song of Ice and Fire book series to read, and the rest of the TV show with Ryan.

Technically it still counts as a pass, 1 point :)

- floss, wear retainer and mouthwash

I wore my retainer and used mouthwash but I didn't get around to flossing my teeth. 2/3 of a point?

- twice weekly regular exercise

I ran the Color Run! Thanks to Ryan I've been able to run regularly, and I lost 22 lbs. 1 point, plus much better self-esteem (I hate being/feeling fat)

- consistent Bible reading plan

Nope. I started this one and didn't finish it. I changed phones, and the plan was on my iPod touch, so I lost it. 0 points.

- 10K in savings after fully paying off school

I had this one, and then I spent it on a car, but I still have a huge chunk in savings so I am happy with the result. We'll call it 1/2 a point, with a bonus for getting my licence and having a car, so 1 point

Total: 3.67 out of 5 (73%, far better than last year but still a low C)

My 2015 resolutions:
I am going to be vague with some of these, leaving out numbers, because I still don't want to put my weight on the internet!

- run a 10K and 2 other "races"
Not sure which 10K yet, the other two are the color run again and the dazzle dash (hence the quotation marks - they're not competitive races, but are lots of fun!)

- reach my goal weight
If I get to this one, the sub goal is to tell you all what it is at the end of the year, breaking the social stigma about girls and weight. Plus, I'll be in a more healthy weight range by that time, if it happens.

- Buy stock/invest in a CD to better understand money
I'm starting a job since I just graduated with a master's degree and want to understand money better. I don't have debts to pay off, so I thought I'd try this!

- Read the New Testament & journal my QTs
More attainable than the whole Bible in a year, and that leaves the old testament for 2016! :)

- Try a new 'hard' recipe every month
While in college I had fun learning to cook things (including pies, a previous year's resolution) and I want to keep that up post-grad! "Hard" means something that actually improves my cooking, not, "Oh, I've never made pasta salad with eggs before". Hard means risotto, lamb, etc. - something to make me a better cook at the end.

- Memorize a new scripture passage monthly
I fell out of this habit after high school and would like to return to it. We used to do a passage every Tim Team meeting in high school, so I thought I'd stick to that schedule.

- Finally visit a gynecologist
This one is silly, but I've been afraid of it for a while. In 2014, I got over my fear of wearing tampons, so this is the next thing to conquer! (Sorry boys if that got too gross for you. If it did, maybe you should resolve to be less squeamish about women's hygiene!)

- Learn how to do makeup
I don't really know when this one will qualify as "done", but I am subscribed to ipsy and birchbox!

- Attend Grace Hopper (professional conference) and Brick Fair (Lego fan conference)
Cons are everyone's new favorite things. I would like this to become a new year's resolution every year - one professional and one fun conference. Already planning to hit up the JASNA AGM in 2016 for Emma's 200 year anniversary! Eventually, I hope to be able to go to ComicCon and some of the other "big" ones. Maybe the Stratford Shakespeare Festival? =)

- Read the next 2 Song of Ice and Fire books with Ryan
It takes GRRM so long to writer them, I can take my time reading them!

Ten resolutions this year. :)
Let's see if I can do it, and see what surprises the year holds for me!