Tomorrow my only brother is getting married! Here's the little toast I wrote for tonight's rehearsal dinner.
Ishmael, Esau, and me. What do all these have in common? Well, they are all firstborns, who believed they deserved a birthright, but for whom God had different plans. I was 10 when Nathaniel was born (so, like Ishmael, I had enjoyed a long period as the presumed firstborn). I was my daddy's handy girl, I had been his special buddy for doing finances at church, and in general enjoyed a "favored status" as firstborn - just ask my sisters to list a way things felt unfair to them. And then, suddenly, it was different. My grandfather & father were both so pleased that a son had been born, a son who could carry on the family name. And my status as "the most special" felt like it was shaken. Like Esau, I felt cheated - I was the firstborn by birth order, why did it matter that I was a girl? So at first, I didn't particularly enjoy having a brother.
That is, until I realized that I had an ally, instead of a replacement. Why was Nathaniel my ally? Well, here's an example: when my parents got cute Madeline dolls for the whole family, I got Miss. Clavel, the teacher, and Nathaniel got Pepito, the little boy next door. The other four had cute matching dolls, and we were the misfits. We stuck out together, as for a while, I was "the only teenager" and he was "the only boy". Later, after three more little girls came along, one holiday season, I came down to the basement to discover my sisters happily engaged in a giant game of hair and dress up. As a freshman in college, I wasn't sure if I could contribute - but eventually I did makeup, and Nathaniel put on a suit to be the “Ken doll” with the Barbies; so after all, despite occasionally feeling left out, we’d figured out ways to fit in together.
Fitting into our large family isn't an easy task - ask my husband and my two brother-in-laws what that's like - but in my interactions with Angela, I've seen how easily she fits in. Probably the best story to highlight this is from my son Max's third birthday this year. Angela and Nathaniel had been engaged for just one week, and she came along to celebrate Max's birthday with us. We were playing with his new toys, and my niece Brielle walked over to Angela to play, and Max burst into tears. When I asked what was wrong, he wailed "I just...want...Aunt Angela...to play with ME". Tomorrow may be when she legally joins our family, and takes the next step towards carrying on that family name, but in Max’s eyes, and in ours, she already fits in perfectly. Much love and Congratulations to y’all.
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