Saturday, May 23, 2009

Seventeen...Struggling with Submission, Stereotypes, and Self-Image

Today is my seventeenth birthday.
last year I wrote letters to myself in one year and in ten years, So today I read a letter from myself in the past to myself now. And in ten years, I'll be reading a letter to myself from today. (I hope).
I have no idea where I'll be or what I'll do, or how my life at Twenty Seven will be different than my life at Seventeen. But I do know that a friend of mine who is Twenty Seven said "a whole lot can change/happen in ten years." (Thanks Dave!)
So I wrote a letter to myself, talking about who I am now, what I struggle with. Here's some of the thoughts I ran across:

~ The idea of female submission in a relationship is getting more and more prevalent in my mind, and more and more complicated. I personally struggle with the concept of submission, since I have natural leadership tendancies of my own, and have to reconcile that with the fact that God created woman to be a helper to man. Now, I'm no where near a relationship, and don't plan to be for a very long time (my lines are VERY high). But still, I need to get it straight in my mind sometime. I've had great thoughts about it from some people I respect a lot. (Thanks James!) However, I need to find what I think the comprimise is, and stick to that. I'd like to find the biblical back-up for what I think. If you can help, please talk to me and give me your opinion.

~ Stereotypes bother me. A lot. I've been stereotyped as Presbyterian, Homeschooled, Asian, etc. While all of those have an effect on my personality, none of those make me who I am. And being defined by the general opinion makes me mad. Great example of breaking sterotypes I just saw in a movie, Chris in "Stand by me" grows up in a criminal family outlives the stereotype of his life, and is a great friend. (I highly suggest this movie. Lots of curses, but a good film. Funnily, It's R rated, the first one I've ever seen, and I saw it on my 17th birthday!)

~ Finally, Self-Image. Last year's letter to myself revealed how much I struggled with this at 15, since I started my letter at age 16 saying something about how I should always remember that I was a beautiful, self confident young woman. I still struggle with that, and don't believe in myself, but I have some great friends who help me boost my confidence. (Thanks Ginkgo, <3) However, I think this is something I will struggle with the rest of my teenage years, possibly the rest of my life. I see such a needy person in myself, a person that, were I cloned, I would not like. So I struggle with not putting myself down, something that, in ten years, I would like to have conquered.

I also asked myself from last year if anything significant had happened. In a way, yes, because I am a year older, with a year's worth of experiences to record and consider, and I learned a lot from Navs, and High School(I had some GREAT teachers this year). But I also didn't really get hit with an amazing BOOM thought this past year. I just grew, spiritually and physically, like I do every year. Hopefully a year from now, I'll post on my blog again with thoughts from an eighteen year old. thanks for listening to me!

Oh, and today is also my friend Zach's birthday. Happy birthday Zach!

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