Monday, September 28, 2009

Numbers 13

This past weekend I went on a retreat where we talked about the first step in investigating(studying) the bible - Observation. As one of our practical exercises I got to write a paraphrase of Numbers 13 in modern day. I had so much fun with it that I want to share it with you all. The setting is a news broadcast, possibly NBC, I'm not sure. Enjoy!

Newscaster: There has been much debate over the past week about the YouTube videos posted by our undercover soldiers. TO help clear up some of the confusion, the President has agreed to a live press conference. taking you there now...

President (Moses): Our nation has come to a great turning point in the war. As you all know, a month ago I sent soldiers, one from every state, to spy out the area when terrorists are known to camp, to see if we could take over their major planning base. I also asked what kind of oil they could find there, telling them to send a sample home to be tested for productivity in science labs here. they returned and shared their news with Congress, but in had not yet been announced to the public - we had planned a disclosure for the next week. However, the soldiers published their findings on YouTube. I will now personally answer any questions about their video, their findings and my plans.

Reporter: Is it true that you plan to test oil from there?

P(M): The test have already shown a plentiful amount, there's much that can be gained from drilling in that area.

Reporter 2: What is your response to the political cartoonists who are comparing you to Communist governments? Or those who are saying we should go back to our former president?

P(M): I believe the cartoonists are making hasty assumptions, but I would like to apologize for my behavior and for that of the soldiers.

Reporter 3: Is it true that there were some spies who saw giants?

P(M): Everything in that video - the evil terrorists, the giants, the returning Nazis - is greatly overdone, but is in agreement with the official report. However, before you make any conclusions, let me introduce two important men, I greatly admire these representatives for speaking their minds, perhaps you've seen their facebook notes about the spy (espionage) mission. It is with great pleasure I introduce you to the two soldiers who believe we can take the camp, Lt. Caleb and St. Joshua.

C&J: It is our belief that we can conqueror the terrorists. Although the men there are mighty and have weapons, we will be given the power to defeat them. With God on our side, we will strike them down. We are not taking any questions at this time, thank you.

Newscaster: Well, those videos surely have brought about a lot of unrest in the nation. Politicians are unsure how to respond - tomorrow Congress is meeting to disscuss. Thank you and goodnight.

Well, that was it! Go back and read Numbers 13, compare, and then tell me what you thought!

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